Outcast President

The following are the ravings of an insecure old man, our Outcast President.

We’ve all known people like Trump, people who other people generally dislike and try to avoid. They feel our avoidance and do everything in their power to be accepted into the circle. They make up stories and adventures. They say and do anything they believe will bring the acceptance and perhaps even the respect they so ardently crave. They lie about who they are and what they stand for, all to try to become one with us.

Ultimately, they remain rejected and reviled. No one wants them around. If they have money and power, like Trump, they will attract a particular type of individuals who, like fly larvae that become maggots to feed on their host in hopes of sharing the host’s power and money, will become their sycophants and best friends as long as the host finds them useful.

If most of us went around making self-serving statements like these, family and friends would hold an intervention and have us on a Prozac cocktail of some sort.

• "In 2016, I declared: I am your voice. Today, I add: I am your warrior. I am your justice. And for those who have been wronged and betrayed, I am your retribution.”
• “I like thinking big. If you're going to be thinking anything, you might as well think big.”
• "Have you noticed that they are now admitting I was right about everything they lied about before the election?" Trump asked.
• "I think if this country gets any kinder or gentler, it's literally going to cease to exist.”
• "I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will have Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
• "I will be phenomenal to the women. I mean, I want to help women.”
• "I have a great relationship with African Americans, as you possibly have heard. I just have great respect for them. And they like me. I like them.
• "I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct. I've been challenged by so many people and I don't, frankly, have time for total political correctness.”
• "I'm the most successful person ever to run for the presidency, by far. Nobody's ever been more successful than me. I'm the most successful person ever to run. Ross Perot isn't successful like me. Romney - I have a Gucci store that's worth more than Romney.”
• "My favorite part [of Pulp Fiction] is when Sam has his gun out in the diner and he tells the guy to tell his girlfriend to shut up. 'Tell that bitch to be cool. Say: Bitch be cool.' I love those lines.”
• "I look very much forward to showing my financials, because they are huge.”
• "The concept of shaking hands is absolutely terrible, and statistically, I've been proven right.”
• "Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault.”
• "I think Viagra is wonderful if you need it, if you have medical issues, if you've had surgery. I've just never needed it. Frankly, I wouldn't mind if there were an anti-Viagra, something with the opposite effect. I'm not bragging. I'm just lucky. I don't need it.”
• "All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected.”
• "She does have a very nice figure... If [Ivanka] weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her.”
• "Show me someone with no ego and I'll show you a big loser.”
• "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose voters.”
• “I would bet if you took a poll in the FBI I would win that poll by more than anybody’s won a poll.”
• “I’m the least racist person you have ever interviewed.”
• “The first time, I had two things to do ‒ run the country and survive; I had all these crooked guys. And the second time, I run the country and the world.”
• “After 50 years of failure, with nobody coming even close, I was able to kill Roe v. Wade, much to the ‘shock’ of everyone,”
• I love the Mexican people, but Mexico is not our friend. They're killing us at the border, and they're killing us on jobs and trade. FIGHT!